This pregnancy has come as a total surprise. My oldest is 15 and my youngest is 5 and has just started preschool. I was reveling in my new found freedom and spare time ....and then the dratted pregnancy test is positive!
Shock, horror and disbelief! This wasn't supposed to happen! I was done with having babies! I had given away all baby and toddler paraphernalia - clothing, toys, books, car seat, pram, you name it.
I was just beginning to really enjoy me free time and starting to pursue a few of my own interests....interests I had put on hold (or indulged in only occasionally) for the past 15 years.
I spent the first 2 days alternating between crying and yelling at my husband that it was all his fault. As he so sagely pointed out, it takes two to tango!
But no matter how much I ranted and raved, I knew deep down that I had to accept the inevitable. There's a new life growing inside of me, whether I like it or not. I'm a naturally positive and optimistic person, and I pride myself on making the most of every situation that I'm in. I've realized that while I can't control what's happening to me (abortion is out of the question), I can control my attitude.
I can choose to make this pregnancy and the arrival of a new baby a positive experience in my life, rather than look at it as evidence that my life is over. My 5 year old is over the moon about the new baby and I must say that her excitement is rubbing off on to me.
Perhaps having this baby will teach me to slow down and to realize that a successful day doesn't come from having ticked off all the items on my to-do list, but rather from how many lives I have touched in a positive way and how many people I have given my unconditional love to. Perhaps that what success really is.
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